When I was little, dad used to say, “when you can’t sleep, just look to the sky. Find the brightest star, and the magician will grant you a beautiful dream.” In the dream, I know the magician will bring my father back.
Father’s day is coming up soon, and all the promotion has made it a difficult start of the month. This is the latest song to make me cry.
A little bit more than ten years ago, Anita Mui passed away leaving a legacy of music and movies that will be remembered. Even my dad knew Anita Mui (besides from Jackie Chan movies), he told me he knew her from her singing the Song of Sunset (夕陽之æŒ) [1][2], which he loved both in this version and its Japanese original.
Ten years after her passing, her (very famous) friends got together to put something really special… a super performance to remember her by. Titled Anita Mui. 10. Longing. Music. Concert (梅艷芳。10。æ€å¿µã€‚音樂。會), the event garnered an array of Hong Kong (and overall Chinese) best — of the best for a night of music and memories.
Jacky Cheng, A-Mei, HOCC was there, Miriam Yeung, Sammi Cheng. Eric Tsang being melancholic, Jackie Chan throwing a joke… Eason Chan with his hair~ Maggie Cheung was freaking there, Aaron Kwok swung his hips, and Carina Lau introduced her hubby Tony Leung, and Tony SANG! People cheered. At a point in the concert, I told my mom “the only one missing here is Andy Lau.” Lo and behold, who turns up for one of the last numbers~
The only one I missed was Faye Wong. Just coz.
Anyway, my dad would’ve been happy with this show. I hope he and Anita are sharing a drink together up above.
It’s been nearly two months since my dad’s passing, and this Deserts Chang song came in my iPod’s playlist. Titled You Were Here with Me (æˆ‘æƒ³ä½ è¦èµ°äº†) in English… it seems to be a contradiction with the literal translation. I know ‘wo xiang ni‘ means “I miss you” but wouldn’t the literal translation be “I want you to go“?
Loneliness is hovering over me
I watch clouds rising, rain falling
My mood is getting down
My mood is getting down
Perhaps at the exit of Dream
Peace has embraced outpouring of emotions
In the blink of an eye it dawns on me
In the blink of an eye it dawns on me
You’re about to go
You’ve said it all
((Your) life story is finished.)
You’re about to go, you’ll be happy
Perhaps at the exit of Dream
Peace has embraced outpouring of emotions
In the blink of an eye it dawns on me
You said you wanted a pillow that you could sleep to your heart’s content
Next week, it’s crazy, will be the first month my dad has been gone. Though the shock of losing him seemed to block my mourning for him, as the days have gone by, it’s been harder and harder. Specially this past Sunday. It was my fourth Sunday without seeing him… and I don’t get along with #4s. Today I woke up thinking that maybe I could hear his ringing my intercom the way he did so I knew it was him downstairs.
Music has been my blessing and my curse. It often distracts me from wandering into sad territory, but it also reminds me of him. “He would like this,” “I saw this with him,” my mind often thinks. Trying to make sense, over-thinking about it, it seems destiny has been sending me signals throughout the year. First through a Chinese Horoscope scare, and other little bits and pieces of mementos.
Father and daughter movies, songs being played at key moments and words left as token of peacefulness. The day before my father passed away, when he was in good spirits and I was visiting him, he said he had led a good life and that if he had to go, he could go tranquil. I didn’t know then that I wasn’t going to be able to give him a mix of his favorite group [1] to accompany in his hospital stay.
After my uneasiness started that day, I looked up at the sky and told my dad that if he had to let go, he could. Fifteen minutes later, I was informed of his cardiac arrest. It wasn’t more than 20min in the trauma room, when I knew that he’d decided to let go.
Luck will have it that I didn’t get to watch Talaash until after my father passed.
I feel the need to over-share so I don’t wallow in self-pity.
