Twilight Series Recap – Too Funny to Pass~

August 5, 2008 — Leave a comment

Oh, man~ I don’t think I’ve ever done a Twilight post in here. I remember reading book one and not really thinking much of it… I do remember a lot of eye-rolling xD I didn’t bother to read the rest of the books, but I know a lot of people that read the books… not really my thing.

So it was a surprise to find out that the latest book came out and did pretty impressive with sales. On that same article they talk about how some fans weren’t eh… too happy with the book. But what makes my day was the recap of what basically went on the book… totally makes me snort xD

  • Bella, the human, and Edward, the vampire, get married.
  • Then they have rough sex that leaves her bruised and battered. (Also, he bites a pillow and covers her with feathers.)
  • Then she gets totally pregnant with some kind of demon death baby who grows at a superhuman rate, can read thoughts in the womb, drinks blood in utero, and breaks Bella’s ribs, pelvis, and spine from the inside.
  • Some werewolf stuff happens.
  • The baby is delivered via Cesarean section, which is a polite way of saying that other characters rip Bella’s stomach open with their teeth. (“Seriously, they cannot make this into a movie. I cannot imagine for one second how they could make this into a movie appropriate for teenage girls and keep this part in it.”)
  • Bella becomes a vampire and develops superpowers and has sex with Edward a lot of times.
  • Everybody lives happily forever after.

Now, as a super fan of Buffy, I won’t go there~~~ but the whole Vampire baby thing reminded me a whole lot to Angel and Darla and the baby… that’s about the time when I stopped watching Angel. LOL’

However, I do know the terrible feeling of being let down by a book. LOL’ I’m still waiting to meet someone who tells me Harry Potter’s last two books weren’t what was cracked up to be. Oh… you know what I am talking about~~~

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